Ten Brief Things I've Learned So Far From Being a Lead Pastor
Over a year ago, I went from being an associate pastor to a lead pastor, and I described the things I learned from this transition. Well, it’s now been over a year and in my short-time as a lead pastor, I’ve experienced a church revitalization process, a global pandemic, and one of the largest social justice protests in modern history. Quite the year to lead a church.
But despite unique context, there are so many things I’ve learned about being a lead pastor that I didn’t really know before. Below are a few of the main ones I’ve learned so far.
1. Being a Lead Pastor is Not Very Glamorous. People often think being a lead pastor is this high-powered, platformed, superstar role. I mean, lead pastors “go on stage” every week, make decisions that influence hundreds of people, and cast lofty visions to “change the world.” But after being a lead pastor for more than a year, I’ve found myself mainly meeting with struggling members, organizing excel sheets, and bringing coffee for our volunteers.
Sometimes you catch yourself thinking, “Wait, is a lead pastor supposed to do this kind of stuff?” But there’s a reason a shepherd is one of the main biblical images of a pastor. Throughout history, shepherding has always been a humble profession filled with laborious, solitary, and uncomfortable work. And after a year of doing this, I’m learning to expect doing far more seemingly menial tasks than glorious ones.
2. Every Lead Pastor Feels Inadequate. I think I’ve rubbed shoulders with enough guys to learn a universal truth: no one feels adequate as a lead pastor. Every lead pastor struggles with self-doubt and discouragement. While this might be surprising to learn, it’s actually kind of refreshing. There’s nothing more annoying than meeting pastors that seem to always brag about their growing church and their amazing new ministry initiatives. But the guys who realize just how weighty this role is will feel insufficient - and it’s encouraging to find that this is the norm.
3. Churches Look Way Better on Social Media. It’s been proven over and over again that the more people are on social media, the more susceptible they are to depression and anxiety. Why so? Everyone on your social media feed appear to live an amazing life. Of course, what we see on Instagram is not reality - people are only showing a curated version of themselves.
The same goes with churches. It’s easy to see what other churches are doing and think, “Man, I wish our church was doing that.” Especially during quarantine where every church in America is displayed online, you can’t help but feel inadequate. But I realize it only feels that way because local churches do the same thing as people do on social media - they show a curated version of themselves. So I’m learning not to fall into the comparison trap and to simply focus on “shepherding the flock among you” (1 Pt 5:2).
4. People Are Not Going to Like You. I’ve said this before, but I heard when you first become a lead pastor, 10% of your church won’t like you, and they won’t even know why. Well, after about a year, 10% of your church still won’t like you - but now they know why. Because you have so many responsibilities, you will drop the ball on something, which will upset somebody. You will say something that’s not as charitable as it should be. You will neglect a ministry that someone deems too important to neglect. You will fail to respond to an email in a timely manner.
But perhaps this is a good thing because if nobody in your church is disappointed with you, then that probably means somebody from your family is. While it’d be great to balance both ministry and the household, the priority of one will likely always lead to the neglect of the other. So as a lead pastor, you just need to be ok with somebody always not liking you.
5. Focus on Your Local Church. In the past, I used to admire lead pastors who were able to do so many things like book-writing, network leading, and para-church organizing. But now when I see a lead pastor doing that, I think, “How do you have time?” I get it though. As I mentioned in #1, being a lead pastor isn’t very glamorous. But it seems glamorous to the outside world, so you get invited to speak, partner, and write.
But unless you’ve been doing this lead pastor stuff for decades, I’m not sure how anyone can get involved in stuff outside their local churches unless they a) neglect their local church b) neglect their family or c) neglect their souls. This isn’t to say pastors should never do anything outside their church, but I’m puzzled how lead pastors can lead healthy churches while stretching their bandwidth so wide.
6. There are Generally Two Types of Lead Pastors. The first type of lead pastor is the reckless, “Ready, Fire, Aim” guy. He often has a strong personality and a clear destination, but he causes a lot of headaches with his lack of planning. Then there’s the careful, “Ready, Aim, Aim” guy. He’s often calculating and has a clear process but causes a lot of headaches with his analysis paralysis. I’m discovering that I am very much the “aim aim” guy, which has its strengths and weaknesses.
7. People Are Way More Important Than Programs. Sounds obvious right? But as a lead pastor, I understand why it’s tempting to miss this. Programs are how you create a buzz in your church and gives you the feeling that your congregation is doing something. How do you get members to wake up? How do you get non-Christians to visit your church? Be innovative. Create cool ministries. Hype it on social media. Make people think, “Ooh, what’s going on at that church?”
Now while I don’t think innovation or ministries are bad in themselves, I’m learning nothing is more important than actually spending time with your people. I’ve seen too many churches that look great on the outside but are super unhealthy on the inside. That’s because while ministries make your website and social media look great, they don’t mean much if people aren’t spiritually growing through them. I’m learning as the apostle Paul taught that the greatest resume pastors will have is not the quality of their programs but the quality of their people (2 Cor 3:2).
8. Your Social Media Presence Carries a Lot of Weight. Back when I was a college pastor, I could pretty much say whatever I wanted. I could go full prophet mode without getting much pushback. But when you’re the lead pastor, you have to realize what you say on the pulpit, twitter, and your blog (uh-oh) often carries a lot more weight because you represent your church. Therefore, you can’t always go full-prophet mode but need to consider you words not just for your sake, but for the sake of your congregation.
9. Pastors Need to Play the Long Game. There’s an African proverb that says, “Go fast, go alone. Go far, go together.” I think in our modern culture that struggles to slow down, a lot of lead pastors, especially young ones, have a hard time with this. That’s why so many church planters tend to thrive during their first 2-3 years, struggle in years 4-6, and then drop out in years 7-10. I’m sure there are many reasons for this, but I think a big reason is that pastors tend to go too hard too fast.
We think we need to do something amazing right now and push ourselves and our staff to go super hard to make noise “for the kingdom.” But in reality, ministry is more of a marathon than a race. That’s why the New Testament always describes the Christian faith as a “walk” rather than a sprint (Gal 5:16). If we want Christians to think this way, I think churches need to think this way too. Therefore, I’m learning to plan ministry not just for the next 3-4 years but with the next 30-40 years in mind. This mindset just makes you think differently and reminds you to play not the fast game but the long one.
10. Pastoring is a Great Work. Someone once said that God only had one Son and He made Him a preacher. Despite all the struggles, I’m finding pastoring is truly a good work. Like marriage, it’s far more difficult than you thought, but it’s far more rewarding than you ever imagined. I hope every year, by God’s grace, I can find this to be more and more true.